I was really curious, about what was going to happen. Secrets Revealed Over Dinner is an interesting thing. So I went to this dinner and Secrets Revealed Over Dinner was the topic. We all sat down. Started talking about Secrets Revealed Over Dinner. It was really something. People were sharing all these things and Secrets Revealed Over Dinner was getting more and more interesting. I have to say Secrets Revealed Over Dinner was a lot of fun.
Laughter came from across the room. People were having a time. Cups were being placed on saucers making a sound. This sound stopped when someone started talking. Sarah was standing over near the window stirring her drink slowly. She was watching Mark as he leaned forward to pour drink into his mothers glass. The couch made a noise when Mr. Thompson moved sideways to get some cake. He was sitting on the couch. It creaked under his weight. People were eating cake and talking. Someone said something, about the weather. They did not talk about it for long. The room was warm and cozy. The fireplace was warm. It was not the only thing making the room warm. The people and the conversation were also making the room feel warm and nice. Sarah and Mark and Mr. Thompson and his mother were all having a time together. A napkin floated down to the floor. It had been sitting there untouched since we finished dinner two hours ago. Sometimes it gets really quiet.. The silence does not last very long. The silence, from the dinner table never stays for a time.
Sunday evenings are always like this. For thirty years we have dinner at Carol and Roberts home. The room is full of talk. We started doing this when our parents were still alive. Then our kids started coming. Now our kids bring their partners. It is nice to see people eating from familiar plates. We do this every week. It feels normal. We do not make a deal about it. We just show up every Sunday. This makes us feel more connected to each other. We talk about things while we eat soup. Sunday dinner, at Carol and Roberts home is a part of our lives.
This time things just did not feel right.
Carol was the one who saw it start. After raising kids for forty years she had become really good at noticing when people were being quiet. She could tell when someone was not saying something even if they sounded calm. Carol had learned to pay attention to the silence to what people did not say when they were speaking in a voice.
“Be quiet you two ” she said, looking at Mark and at Sarah and she was starting to frown. Her eyes were moving from Mark to Sarah. You could see the frown, on her face.
Mark got a smile on his face but it did not reach his eyes. When he talked about being really tired his voice was steady and calm. He picked up the mug. It felt heavy in his hand like it had something more in it than just warm coffee. Marks hand wrapped around the mug tightly the warmth of the mug was a comfort, to Mark. The tired hours were really getting to Mark.
Now it was time. Robert looked at Mark, his boy. They had stayed close over the years. Robert and Mark both worked with money and money was the thing that they had in common. When their relatives got together the conversation would often turn to stocks. Robert and Mark would share ideas, about money and stocks just like people pass salt at the dinner table.
Robert thought to himself is he busy with work again? He figured that Mark was tired because of the hours that usually come with a job in finance. Marks job, in finance was probably taking a lot out of him Robert. That is why Mark seemed so tired all the time.
Mark said “Fine you get it.” His voice sounded pretty calm. His shoulders were still all tense. This was something that Sarah had gotten used to noticing by after they had been together, for almost five years.
Sarah was quiet now. She kept her hands on her knees. Her face looked smooth. You could see something else behind her eyes. It was, like something was bothering her. It seemed heavier than it did before they started eating.
There was this feeling under Carols skin that told her something was different. Carol had always thought a lot of Sarah because she was always so steady and warm when they were together. Sarah just seemed to fit in with their lives like a missing piece that was always supposed to be.. Now as Carol looked across the room at Sarah she saw that Sarah was holding herself back like a door that was slowly closing. Sarah was not being mean or anything she just seemed sure, about something.
Is everything okay Sarah? Carol asked softly looking at Sarah.
Her eyes stayed on her palms for a moment. Then there was a pause. After that her eyes went up to Mark. She looked at Mark for a bit. Then she turned to Carol. Carol was watching her closely.
The truth is something that everybody should hear Sarah said. She said this in a voice and her words were carefully chosen. The truth is really important. Sarah wanted to make sure everybody understood that.
His eyes suddenly looked at Sarah. His skin turned really pale. “Sarah –
A strange quietness came over the room all of a sudden. Robert and Carol looked at each other like they were connected by something they could not see. Something big had just happened, in front of them. It was not loud. It was very deep. This was the kind of moment that changes the way you see things. Roberts daily life now seemed different like a window that you can see through clearly after the fog has gone. The things that seemed normal now seemed important all. Robert and Carol had just shared a moment that would stay with them. The ordinary things they did every day now carried a lot of meaning.
He said this is not now he spoke quickly his breathing was short and you could tell he was really scared. He looked at Sarah like she had to get it. This place. This moment with his mother and his father standing so close to him made it really impossible, for him.
Sarah looked at him now. Said something. Her voice was calm and clear. She meant what she said about the thing, with him Sarah was being very straightforward.
The woman said that it has been a time. She really meant that a lot of time has passed. The woman said that a lot of time has gone by.
A silence fell over them it was slow and it felt tight it was filled with a kind of fear. Carol and Robert just stood there Carol was next, to Robert they were still like they were frozen in time they had stopped breathing. They did not know what was happening. They knew something big was ending. Their normal night had suddenly changed in a way that they did not expect. Carol and Robert were used to nights but this one had taken a strange turn without any warning.
Into the quiet Sarah let her breath out slowly. Her eyes fell on the couple across from her. The couple she had become really close, to over the years. They had shared many meals together. They had whispered their worries to each other. They had done kind things for each other. These things had added up over time. The couple had opened their home to Sarah. They had never made her feel like she did not belong. Now they sat waiting for her. Their hands were folded. Their faces were calm.. They were also watching her. Sarah felt the weight of what she had not told them. It was pressing against her ribs. The weight of what she had not said to the couple was really getting to her. The womans husband, who was also the father of her son was not the man they thought he was. The womans husband was not what he seemed to be. Silence was not helping to keep them safe. The womans husband was a mystery, to them now.
Mark has been cheating on me Sarah said, trying to sound calm even though she was about to cry. He has been seeing someone for eight months now. This person is a woman named Jennifer that he works with. Mark has been telling lies to me to you and to everyone about what he is doing and where he is going. Mark is not being honest, with us Sarah said, talking about Mark and what Mark has been doing.
Bombs dropping in silence. That is how the words felt to Carol and Robert. A sharp breath escaped Carol her fingers were pressed hard against her lips. The words had an effect on Robert his face showed shock at first then a little later a lot of anger took over. The quiet in the room was broken by what the words said about the situation, with Carol and Robert.
Mark stood up fast. “Sarah this is not something we should talk about here. We need to discuss this in private. “
Sarah cut in still sitting down and looking very calm. We talked about this in private. This has been going on for three weeks since I first found out. You said you would stop it four times.. You lied to me four times.. Tonight when your mother asked if everything was okay you just smiled and said it was just a long day. You made it seem like everything was fine.. That was not true because you were still sending messages to her on the way here. You were still talking to her tonight.
Marks face fell apart. “Please do not do it this way. “
Sarah got up and her eyes met Marks eyes then they moved to his mother and his father. She spoke slowly each word was filled with pain that nobody saw it was, like hurt was building up inside her from all the quiet mornings when she had to make choices by herself.
The truth always comes out she said, looking back and forth between Carol and Robert. This is especially true when you are, with your family.
She turned to Carol, whose face looked really upset and sad. “I am sorry to bring this into your home. I am sorry to mess up your family dinner.. I have been keeping this secret for three weeks while Mark kept telling lies kept choosing her kept acting like everything was okay with us when it was not. I just could not do it anymore. Carol saw the thing and I had to tell her the truth, about Mark and what he did. I had to tell her about Mark. It was hard for me to talk about Mark. I do not want to sit and smile and pretend that everything is okay when he tells you that his work is the reason he is so busy. I think it is more, than work that is keeping him busy. The work is keeping him busy. I do not think that is the whole story.
Sarah picked up her purse from beside the couch. She said I am filing for divorce. I wanted you to know this from me. I do not want you to hear it from someone or from Marks side of the story. I want you to know the truth, from Sarah. That is what I am telling you now.
The only thing that broke the silence was the sound of Carol crying. Robert was looking at his boy. He had a look on his face that Mark had never seen before. It was a mix of being really disappointed and being shocked at the time. Roberts face was not moving all it was, like a cold stone.
Footsteps stopped there. Mark tried to say something. The words that came out of his mouth were really weak.
Sarah looked at him one time. “I gave you three weeks to tell them yourself. I wanted you to be honest and take responsibility, for what you did.. You kept lying to them. So I had to make a choice. I had to do what I thought was right because you would not tell the truth. You kept lying. That is why I made this choice. I am talking about the fact that you did not tell them the truth and that is why I did what I did. Sarah is saying that she gave him three weeks to tell them and he did not do it. Now Sarah had to make a choice. That is what she did.
She walked to the door then she. Turned around to face Robert and Carol. I love Robert and Carol. I am sorry that things ended like this with Robert and Carol. But I will not be a part of protecting the lies of people anymore I just cannot do that to Robert and Carol.
She walked out the door. Now the evening meal felt like something that was finally taken care of. The evening meal was something she did not have to think about. She had done what she needed to do for the evening meal.
The Three Weeks Before
It just happened that Sarah found out by chance. This happened three weeks ago. She saw the thing without trying to. Her husband did not mean to leave his iPad on the kitchen table. He went to work out. Forgot it was there. Then a message came up on the screen. It was from someone named Jennifer. The things they said to each other were very personal. They did not try to hide anything. The truth was there on the screen it was quiet but it was very clear. Sarah saw the message from Jennifer on her husbands iPad. It was obvious what was going on. The iPad was just sitting there with the message, from Jennifer.
When Mark got back Sarah talked to him in a calm and straightforward way. She said “Who is Jennifer and why is Jennifer saying that Jennifer misses waking up to Mark?”
Mark went through all the steps. First he said it was not true then he said it was not a deal then he promised to stop. He said “I made a mistake. I will stop. I am really sorry. Please do not tell anyone. Mark and the other person can work through this problem with Mark.”
Sarah felt frozen inside. She agreed to be silent and wait for things to become clear. This was not what she expected to happen. Not ago she believed what he said about leaving the other person behind. What Sarah wanted to know was if he would really choose her and stay with her. She held on to hope that he would choose Frozen Yogurt shop owner Sarah and her even when she was not sure what would happen next. The hope that he would choose Sarah stayed with her even when she did not have any certainty, about what he would do.
Mark never actually finished what he started.. Then something changed. Marks ability to hide things got a lot better.
Three weeks went by. Sarah saw that Mark was lying to her a lot. Every time she caught him he would say that he was going to break up with Jennifer. The messages on his phone showed something different. Mark would talk about being honest. He kept all of his devices locked with passwords. He said he wanted to save their marriage. It seemed like he did not really care about going to therapy. Mark and Sarah never really had any talks, about what was going on with their marriage. Mark and Sarah just did not talk about it.
The worst thing about it is that he kept pretending around the people who were closest, to him. He would do this in his childhood home when they had get-togethers and in places where people thought Mark and his wife had a marriage. Mark acted like a husband but the truth is that Mark was still involved with someone else and Mark did not stop seeing this other person.
The drive to Sunday dinner felt like it was taking forever. I looked over at Mark. He was typing a message to Jennifer on his phone. A big smile spread across his face as he looked at the screen. I remembered that smile it used to be for me. The air in the car got heavy. There was silence everywhere. Something changed inside of me then. It was not a thing.. It was clear. The Sunday dinner drive was not so important, to me anymore. I was thinking about Mark and Jennifer.
Are you texting the girl now. You are on the way, to your parents house?
This is not what you think –
Mark I am able to see the screen. I am able to see her name.
Mark had locked his phone. Put it away. “I am handling the situation. Just let me handle the situation my way. Please do not make a scene at my parents house.”
Then came the moment when Sarah had enough of it. She was silent, for a time but that ended right there. Sarah would not protect his reputation longer. It felt wrong for Sarah to keep holding onto the secrets that he was hiding. The game of playing along with the things that he was doing stopped for Sarah today.
Mark did not say anything, about what happened but someone else had a different idea. For her saying something was always an option. She could talk about the situation of Mark at any time.
The Aftermath at the Thompson Home
The living room was really quiet after Sarah walked out. It was silent for a minute. Nothing was said. Her mother looked at the boy. Her eyes were wet. Her voice was very quiet. The air in the room felt heavy now. The living room felt still. The stillness, in the living room was uncomfortable. Sarah was. The room was silent.
Carol said this to me. I could hear that her voice was shaking. She wanted me to tell her that the woman was not telling the truth. Carol wanted to know that what the woman said was not real. “Tell me she is lying ” Carol said. “Tell me this is not true ” she said to me. Her voice was really breaking.
His eyes looked down at the floor instead. The words came out slowly. He was really hesitant
Robert said that it is not hard to understand. He spoke in a tone. You have. Cheated on your wife or you have not cheated on your wife. Robert asked which one is true. Robert wanted to know if the man had been faithful, to his wife or not.
Sometimes the quiet is really loud. You know, when you want people to talk about something. They do not. The quiet says a lot more than any words ever could. It is like the quiet is talking. The words are not being said. The quiet is where the truth is and it is saying something, than any reply.
Robert asked how long this had been going on. He wanted to know how long the person had been lying to all of them. “How long have you been telling us lies?” Robert said, his voice was firm. He was talking about the lies that the person had been telling to Robert and all the other people. Robert really wanted to know how long the person had been dishonest, with them.
“Eight months ” Mark whispered. “. I was going to end the relationship. “
Carols voice got louder because she was really upset and very sad. You have had eight months to stop what you were doing. You have had three weeks since Sarah found out about it.. What did you do? You came to our home. You lied to us.
Robert got up. You could see he was really angry but he was not showing it too much. He said “I taught you to be a person to do the right thing. Your mom and I have been together for forty-two years. We have had some times we have had to deal with a lot of problems and there have been times when things were not easy, for us. But we always told each other the truth we never cheated on each other we never went back on the promises we made to each other the promises that Robert and his wife made when they got married. Robert and his wife always kept their word to each other.
He looked at his son Mark with an expression that would bother Mark for a long time.
He told Mark that he was ashamed of him.
Marks father said he was not ashamed because Mark was having trouble in his marriage to his wife. Lots of people have trouble in their marriage.
Marks father was ashamed because Mark was not honest about his problems.
Marks father said Mark lied to his wife and family.
He said Mark made the other girl keep his secret.
At the time Mark kept choosing to be with someone else instead of his wife.
Marks father said Mark did not respect his wife or his family.
He also said Mark did not respect himself or his own marriage, to his wife.
The Family’s Response
On Mark learned something real. When people see the real Mark things actually change for Mark.
His dad only said a things to him and they were all short messages that made him feel bad. Then his mom did something unexpected. She got in touch with Sarah. She told Sarah that she was sorry, about the way Mark behaved. His mom actually supported Sarahs decision to end the marriage.
Marks sister found out about what happened through his family. She was really upset. “Do you have any idea how embarrassing this must have been for Sarah?” she said. “Sarah had to tell your parents because you did not have the courage to do it yourself. You put Sarah in a position. She is the one who had to be the person and tell them when really it was your fault. You made Sarah look bad when she did not deserve it. This is about what you did, to Sarah. Sarah is the victim not you.”
People who used to spend time with Mark and Sarah began to take sides. Most of the time they chose her. Mark was left standing by himself. The perfect image he had of himself as a husband and a man, with a good job started to fall apart. This happened when the truth came out. Mark was not the man he seemed to be. He was losing the people he cared about and his life was not going well as he thought. The real Mark was being. It was not a pretty picture. Mark and Sarah were not the couple they appeared to be.
She walked away once the truth sank in. Jennifer had thought that she and he were free to be. This moment changed everything for Jennifer. It was not what he did that hurt her but also how deep his lies went. Her voice stayed calm when she spoke. She did not sound angry just really disappointed. It was an sharp feeling. Jennifer did not yell at him. She just told him how she felt in a way. There was a pause before Jennifer spoke again. Then she said: I thought things were different, than this. Your life you made it seem like it was totally messed up.. None of it was real. That is what hurt her the most. He gave her answers that she now knows were not true. The trust between them was completely gone at that point. What she thought was private turned out to be built on lies about the relationship and the things he said to her. The fact that the relationship was built on fiction is what bothered her about the situation, with him.
Marks life was slowly falling apart because of all the lies he told. His wife left him. Then his girlfriend did the same thing. Marks parents were really disappointed in him. They did not think he was a person anymore. His sister did not believe anything Mark said. His friends were gone like they never existed. Mark was more worried, about what people thought of him than being honest. This made his life feel empty and fake. Mark made a lot of choices and it hurt him. He cared more about how he looked to others than being a person. Marks life was not what it used to be because of all the things he did.
Sarah’s Difficult Courage
What made Sarah tell everyone about Marks cheating during dinner was not because she wanted to get at him or embarrass him. She just did not want to sit and say nothing while people were being lied to. Sarah used to stay quiet so Mark would feel better. Now she was only thinking about what was best, for Sarah.
Three weeks had gone by since she found out what Mark was hiding from her. It really bothered her to see him telling lies to the people who cared about Mark. She was always quiet when they had dinner or went to parties and that started to feel like she was being dishonest too. Every time she was with Mark when he was acting like everything was fine it made her feel worse. The things she knew about Mark made it hard for her to smile at him without feeling like she was pretending. Being with Mark and not saying anything about what she knew was starting to feel like she was saying it was okay. That did not feel right, to her.
It came to her one day that protecting Mark meant keeping the truth hidden. By staying quiet she let him come up with his stories while she had to deal with the reality of what Mark said never happened.
A choice like that does not just happen. The fact that he spoke up during dinner was not an accident. The timing was important. His mom and his dad needed to know the truth without anything being left out not some story that Mark would tell them later. If he had waited until the court papers arrived that would not have been fair to them. Sarah had already been dealing with much and she should not have had to keep all of this to herself it was not her responsibility to carry this burden the burden of the court papers and what Mark did Sarah had carried the truth, about Mark for too long.
That was really uncomfortable. For sure it was. It even ruined a family meal. Yes it did.. That moment was important because it stopped Sarah from going along with Marks lies. His relatives finally got to hear the truth that had been hidden from them. Now they knew why Sarah and Mark could not stay married.
The Universal Truth About Secrets and Family
What people remember about Sarah is not what she decided to do it is how it is similar, to the things they deal with on their own. A lot of people have to face the problem of speaking up against someone they care about which can cause trouble at home. This is a thing to think about for many people. If you speak up you might hurt someone you care about. If you say nothing it can make you feel bad inside. The way Sarah handled things is something that a lot of people can understand because they have also had to choose between doing what is right and doing what makes them feel comfortable. Sarahs situation is something that people can relate to because they have also stood between what’s true and what is comfortable and they are not sure which one is more important.
People usually think they have to keep marriage problems to themselves. They are afraid of what others will think if they find out. Marriage problems are, like a secret that nobody talks about. When people do not talk about their problems it looks like everything is fine.. Really someone is hurting inside. Maybe one person is not telling the truth. The other person has to deal with all the pain by themselves. Marriage problems are a burden for them to carry.
Sarahs last words really said it all. She said “Truth always finds its way in front of family.” This is what Sarahs final statement captured perfectly. The truth is that Sarah was right when she said “Truth always finds its way in front of family.” Sarahs words were really something to think about like when she said “Truth always finds its way in front of family.”
The truth always comes out no matter how hard people try to hide it. When lies start to fall people who did not say anything when they had the chance start to feel bad too. The truth is that not saying anything when you know something is wrong can be just as painful, as the lie itself. The weight of keeping quiet when you know the truth is a burden to carry and it feels even worse when the truth finally comes out and everyone can see what is really going on with the truth.
Sarah did not want to get at Mark just because she was facing her fear. The problem was that not saying anything had become too much for her to handle. Talking about what happened did not change what Mark did. It changed the way Sarah saw herself. She was saying things out that she used to keep to herself not because it made everything okay but because pretending everything was fine hurt her more than telling the truth. Facing her fear. Speaking up about what Mark did was what Sarah needed to do because honesty was better for her, than silence.
On things turned out to make her decision seem like the right one. Marks parents never blamed Sarah they just thought Mark had pushed things far. What really got their attention was not how comfortable they were with the situation. How clear everything was.. That is what mattered the most, to Marks parents the fact that everything was clear.
The truth is hidden when we do not say anything for a time. When someone does something and breaks the trust but they still want everything to seem okay that puts the truth about the situation in the middle and that puts you in a difficult position. At first it might seem nice to go with their story and not say anything.. The truth is, pretending that everything is fine is not good because it helps people to be dishonest. When a family has peace because they are keeping secrets it can feel very heavy after a while. Some people might say that you should keep quiet and not say anything about what happened.. When you do that it is like you are saying that what they did was okay. Protecting someone who did something can hurt you more and more each day. What people think is being loyal can start to feel like you are losing yourself and the truth about the situation with the person who broke the trust. The truth and the trust are very important. Hiding the truth can be very bad, for you and the trust. When you say what is really going on it can be like a wake up call. It can make things that seemed okay not okay anymore.. When you use simple and clear words it can help people who are hurt to feel a little better. The healing process really starts when you can see what is really going on. Feeling comfortable is not as important as being truthful with yourself. What is real matters the most when it comes to the people you care about the most, like your family and friends.
It is better to hear things directly from someone you trust like a family member or a close friend rather than hearing them from someone else. At first it can be painful to hear the truth. Not saying what you know can hurt even more in the long run. Saying what is real, like the truth is very important. The truth matters when it comes to the people to you like your family and friends. Carrying lies for another person is a bad idea. When someone is fooling the people that the Carrying lies for another person and the other person both love it is not something that the Carrying lies for another person should do. The Carrying lies for another person should speak up about the lies because speaking up is not a thing to do. Silence is what can really hurt the people that the Carrying lies for another person and the other person love. When the Carrying lies for another person and the other person talk about the truth even if it is hard to hear it can make their relationship stronger. Pretending that everything is okay when it is not does not help the people that the Carrying lies for another person and the other person love.
Truth has a way of surfacing, even when buried deep. Say ‘TRUTH’ if you stand by that idea. When does staying quiet start to feel like agreement? Your take matters more than you think.